Truths of the Universe 01 - The Ocean is Salty

A couple of friends and I were lucky enough to have been gifted with incredible wisdom, far-seeing foresight and breathtaking genius at birth. I used to be a firm believer in keeping our secret knowledge just that, secret knowledge, for you mere mortals do not deserve to have these divine revelations unleashed upon you without having earned it for yourself. But Allan promised that it would be epic if we wrote a book containing all of our collective knowledge, and i thought it would be funny to see your breath taken away from you when the world's phenomena are each explained in their true form.

Seeing as i don't know how to write a book, i figured i'd just start by putting random installments on my blog. Rest assured, one day our book will transcend the mundane shelves of stores and rest where it belongs: bathed in light, mounted upon a miniature podium behind 3 inches of solid glass in a display case next to "The Bro Code" by Barney Stinson in "the Museum of all things which should be made general knowledge to all people, by having been read to children during the story-time before bed so that their dreams may soar high into the heavens and shine and live among unicorns and angels"

Without further ado, let us commence on our journey.

The Ocean is Salty

Nearly everyone has tasted ocean water before. It's salty. So salty that that we try not to let it enter any of our orifices, yet somehow it always does. And when it's in your mouth it tastes bad, and when it's in your eyes, it burns. Let's not talk about the effects on other orifices... But why is the water salty? Sperm whales. Have you ever seen how huge these things are? Some of them are as big as a house, 20.5 metres long (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sperm_whale - yeah, so what if I referenced wikipedia, they're smart SOBs.) How much urine do you think one of those expels in one go? How much Semen do you think they produce? How much sweat do you think they generate when playing Whale Soccer? (Whale Soccer to be discussed another time.) What is in all of these fluids? Salt. Salt which goes into the ocean... and enters our orifices. I said i'd reveal to you the truths of the world, i didn't say they were pretty.