Mysterygunk.

I don’t like buying pants. It’s not because I don’t like pants, or that I don’t think it’s worth spending the money on, or that I dislike shopping. It’s the disappointment that wounds me every time.

When I go looking for pants, I want them to fit properly, which means that I have to try them on, test them out, and ask a friend if it makes my butt look more abnormally small than it already is (seriously, it may as well be concave). The problem is that the tiny little changerooms that stores give you are barely even large enough to turn around in. If you have enough space to take a full stride to see how stretchy your pants are or how much it crawls up your hips when you take a step, then you’re one lucky bugger cause I don’t think I’ve ever found a room like that. The other option is to just step outside of your room, into that hallway that connects all the rooms, and stare at yourself in the oversized mirror that’s inevitably present in all dressing rooms. But this means allowing everyone to see your pant-buying-ritual, it’s exposing… it makes me feel naked.

Fortunately for me a friend was looking to buy a dress shirt a couple of months ago so I tagged along, since shopping for someone else is the best time to shop for yourself; you can just sneak off and do your own thing and no one will notice because they’re too busy trying to find the right size shirt for Joe, or 3 inch, not 2 inch heels for Molly. During this time, I managed to come across a pair of pants that looked decent, and so I split away from the group and tried them on. They were SPLENDID. Black pants that are half jeans, half dressy, and extremely soft and comfortable. Not to mention, they were size 29, which absolutely no one sells, but for some odd reason I managed to find. Of course I promptly bought them and snuck my way back into the shopping group to find a “Salmon, not pink” shirt.

Since that day, these pants have been my absolute favourite. When I wash them, they’re my only article of clothing that I actually take care of and read the washing instructions for. But to my horror, about a week ago, I stuck my hands into my right bum pocket only to be greeted by a patch of sticky white gunk lodged into the corner seam. I have absolutely NO idea what it is, or how and when it got there.

First reaction: “What the…”

Second: “How did that…”

Third: “HELL NO”

Do not make decisions when you are angry, frustrated, or upset, it is a well known fact that you will make the wrong decision 57 out of 59 times. Try it, it’s true. And those aren’t very great odds. What do you do when you have a clothes that are dirty? Throw them into the washer obviously. What do you do when you have a pair of pants that just came out of the washer? Hit up the dryer, no doubt. What I received from the dryer was my favourite pair of pants with no white gunk in the bum pocket. The white gunk was gone, and in its place was a plate of dark grey CONCRETE. If I had any hopes of getting it off, I completely missed the bus because this stuff is going to stay forever. My favourite pants and I managed to ruin them badly enough that it will forever look like I sat on an extrea steamy bird crap.

I know it’s a nearly impossible favour to ask of any of you since this is just something that everyone has to do as soon as they see me but… try hard not to look at my bum over the next couple of months.

Wonderful.

DISCLAIMER: If you happen to be reading this, and fall into one of the following groups;

• One of the Wondergirls themselves
• A fellow attendee of the wonderful Wondergirls concert
• Someone who is extremely cynical and mean and wants to destroy my hopes and dreams

then keep in mind that this post contains extremely high levels of sarcasm and self flattery, neither of which are to be taken seriously... unless you happen to actually be a Wondergirl and would like to give me a private concert, because, you know, i'd probably shoot myself in the foot for a chance like that. Seriously though, don't take me seriously.

Just recently, a young asian male, 5"7.5, 64 kilograms was spotted in a room filled with young preteen girls, with a small camcorder in his hand. Said male was reported to have been filming the 5 incredibly good looking wondergirls who traveled all the way from Korea to Justin's own hometown, just to throw him a concert. This man is wanted for being far too happy to be seen in public, because anyone who sees him would become so green with envy that they would internally combust.

It's nearly a week later now, and i'm still in such huge disbelief that i got to see the Wondergirls live last monday night. Yes, they are comparable to being the Spice Girls of Korea. Yes, there have been many people who've laughed at me, ridiculed me, and disagreed with my music tastes, but i endured all of these things because my love for the Wondergirls is undefeatable

Arriving in the building, it was pretty apparent that Nikko and I were the black sheep in the huge HUGE flock waiting to get into the theatre. At least 95% of the audience was composed of asian girls under the age of 16, and their boyfriends. Sadly, i do not belong to this group of people, contrary to what many people said when i told them about the concert... sticking out like a sore thumb ended up working to my advantage though, since the Wondergirls couldn't help but stare our way the whole time *i only wish it were true D: *

I like to think it went down something like this...

Sohee: "Hey, is that two guys that i see right in the farthest back seats that could possibly be purchased here?"

Lim: "No, you must be seeing things, those two are screaming like 5 year old girls"

Sun: "Yeah, you're right, they just won't shut up, i can't hear anyone else screaming because they're just so loud, they must be extremely excited to see us, we should probably go hang out with them because they seem super-awesome"

Yenny: "Don't be stupid, that's Justin and Nikko, the two people we came all the way to Mississauga for. Oh and not to mention Ria who's going to be the 6th wondergirl in the near future."

Yubin: "Get your own boyfriend, Justin is mine"

This has been one of the very few concerts that i have been to in my life, so it might not sound like much when i say that it was the absolute BEST one... but rest assured, even in the case that i had been to hundreds, i am sure that i would be saying the same thing. The singing made me want to cry with intense joy, and the dancing sent chills down my spine. Congratulations Wondergirls, you've made a screaming, babbling, drooling idiot out of me, but i'm alright with that. Just remember, i may have asked each of the five of you to marry me, but that doesn't mean you have to fight over me, I would be glad to make the sacrifice of marrying all five of you.

Good luck in the rest of your tour, and thanks for the great show!