Attribute Ratings
Strength - 1/10
Agility - 2/10
Dexterity - 1/10
Overall Skill - 1/10
Usefulness in any possible manner - 0.2/10
Slime Coveredness - 10/10
Resemblance to Shrek - 6/10
Intelligence - 4/10
Weakness to Salt - 8/10
Affinity for Justin's Love - 11/10
He is a slug but his mom was a dragon hence the colors and spiny back. His arms were the result of some extensive plastic surgery and muscle reattachment. His ears are actually feelers. He does not have a stomach or any digestion system for that matter. When he consumes food, it merely remains within his hollow body until he decides to spit it back out. He once ate a zygote, and regurgitated it 30 years later. This person is known to us today as Charlie Sheen.
I invented him two days ago. Since then my quality of life has increased considerably. When confronted with any situation in which i do not know what to do, i simply ask myself: "What would Slugmon do?"
-Should I eat mcdonald's for dinner?
No, if Slugmon ate mcdonald's, the salty fries would cause him to bubble and writhe in pain from the inside out.
Unhealthy meal loaded with calories averted.
-How should I react to that pretty girl telling me that i'm ugly disgusting and will never amount to anything at all?
Slugmon doesn't have ears.
Long tearful night watching "Love Actually" avoided.
He can't wait to meet you.
No comments:
Post a Comment