coffee.

My leg is bouncing a mile a minute right now and my chair is creaking dangerously.

I just came from Tim Horton's and in the fifteen-minute-wait line i had plenty of time to ponder the characteristics of my coffee fiend routine.

1. I Never Realize How i Got There.

One moment, i'll be walking to meet some friends in a cafeteria area, and then BAM. I'm in a close-packed line, uncomfortably close to the people ahead of and behind me. The stupid Tim Horton's sign has done its job, brain-washing and conditioning me over so many years to the point where as soon as i see it, i will sub-consciously wander towards it like an ill-fated fly towards a shiny lamp death. It's become such an instinct that i don't even realize what i'm doing until the person behind me is annoyingly standing inside my personal bubble, and I notice that i'm actually standing in a line.

2. What the hell am i ordering?

To be completely honest, i can't even taste the difference between a regular, a double-double, or a triple-triple. So i'm now realizing that the whole mental debate i have with myself as I close in on the cashier is completely pointless. Nonetheless, i'm one of those people who has to sort out what they're going to say in nearly every conversation before they actually reach that point in time that they have to have the conversation, or else they just sound like a babbling idiot who doesn't know what they want. Not that it ever actually amounts to anything though, because by the time I get to the cashier i've never actually completed the decision making process and I just end up making up my order on the spot. Somehow it ends up the same every time.

"I'll have an extra large (should i have ordered extra large... ? yeah, extra large is good... it's the biggest that they offer and bigger is better. I can handle extra large, i'm a MAN.)... uhhh triple triple (... well they're going to charge me the same for a regular or a triple triple, so i might as well get TRIPLE the sugar and cream and get my money's worth. Hell yeah, fight the power.) and a boston cream donut, and a honey crueller donut."

The donuts have no thought process associated with them. Those are just a result of the glass display overpowering my self-control. I am dominated by sugar.

3. I Always Order Too Much.

My eyes are too big for my belly. An extra large coffee in theory is just about the most comforting thing to me. The full pint of heaven-sent grinds has a shining halo in my mind, but when I actually have at it, it takes quite a bit of effort to down it. I probably don't even drink that much water in a day, and the super-saturated sugar content usually has me wishing i hadn't been so gluttonous while ordering. It's always a battle to toss back the last quarter. And then i realize i have two more donuts...

Damn you Tim Horton. On top of being a great Hockey player, you're a darn good brainwasher. Stop putting crack in your coffee.

Yes, i'm indecisive.

Okay, i missed the name Juspoko, I changed it back because allan gave me a mental bitch slap and extracted my true feelings from within me.

Door Etiquette.

There are many things that i take for granted in life, but the one that i feel particularly bitchy about today is door etiquette, as brought to mind by the guy who just failed his golden opportunity to exhibit good manners just minutes ago at the front doors to the library. Door etiquette. Everyone should know it, everyone should use it. The only problem is that it doesn't exist.

I'm starting to wonder why people in Toronto don't make use of their manners when a door and a fellow human block their path. Initially i thought that maybe it's because people abandon all patience for others in the city simply due to the increased person-density. Maybe it's just too hard to be polite to all of the people who you come accross. But then again, it really only takes half a second to make a polite gesture. Either way, all this frustration could just be because i'm the only one who believes in these obscure and unsaid rules that I, personally, would never forsake and adhere to with an iron will. But, I feel manners are a part of common sense and common sense is called common sense for a reason. The key thought here lying in the word "common" if that wasn't made clear enough by my use of italics on the word common.

So, to do my part in the long battle against the unmannered, here's what should be done in two more than frustrating situations, according to my beliefs.

1.The Charger

You know when you're really cold outside in the snow and the only thing that you're thinking of is just getting indoors to a place where the atmosphere might actually be sufficiently warm enough to allow bloodflow? You walk up to the door, grab the handle, and pull it open, and just as you're about to take a step in, some guy charges through the vacant space you were just about to occupy, shoulder punching you in the process. You recoil, and slowly recollect yourself, then wounded, sad and still cold, you go through the door, but even in the well heated building, your heart feels cold.

Hey, if you're that guy who's doing the charging, don't be an ass. If the other person got to the door first, let them go through first. Their teeth are chattering and their nose is dribbling. Would you reject a puppy in a basket on your doorstep? Or would you let him into the warmth and comfort of your home? Yeah that's what I thought. Oh, and i hope you realize the irony of using the peace sign and simultaneously bloodying someone's nose.

If you're the one who just got shoulder punched, this is what you do. Turn around and follow that person inconspicuously to wherever they're headed; they're bound to come face to face with a door sooner or later. Once they come to a door, push them out of the way, enter the door, and hold it closed on the other side. If they move to another door handle, hold that one too, denying them entry to their destination JUST like they did you. When they finally break down into tears, (to achieve this reaction you may yell profanities about their parents, preferably their mother, through the glass) pretend to let them in, and right as they step over the threshold, slam the door on their nose. You will feel so uplifted.

2.The Pack Mule

You've all had one of those days when you just finished one of your bajillion labs for the day and you're carrying your backpack, 53 textbooks, your labcoat, goggles, and a Rockwell Hardness Testing Machine to your next lab. You come to a door and all you need is a couple seconds of a stranger's time to open the door for you since you know, you don't have 3 arms, but he just confirms your preconceived notion that he's a douchebag by just leaving you hanging and going through the very door that was blocking your way, opening it only enough so that he can get through and it shatters your shins as you try to hold it open with your foot when it swings back.

If you're the guy in the picture who's wearing the sunglasses, and not holding mountains of textbooks, all i have to say here is, have pity, take a tiny fraction of your day to hold the door for someone else could save their children. They would do the same for you. If you still refuse, then i hereby ban you from using the term "pce".

If you just got screwed by the sunglasses dude, then don't think twice before going Hulk on this guy's ass. Shove that Erlenmeyer flask up his nostril and wetwilly him constantly until he apologizes.

------

To all of you who have not been practicing your door etiquette. I will no longer hold back. Commit an infringement like one of the above, and you will likely suffer the consequences of my wet willies of fury. Consider yourself warned.

Illiterate.

Just this Tuesday i had my first class in the elective that i chose (but am actively trying to escape) which deals with the Canadian identity in Canadian literature. I never really took the initiative to look up what kind of course it was so up until about December I'd just kind of made assumptions about the class based solely on the name. A big mistake of course, because it ended up being completely the opposite of what i was expecting. In general, there is only one requirement in my mind when I am selecting which elective course to go with, and it's that the course is very easy and NOT time consuming.

Much to my dismay in the month of December, after having been enrolled in this course for nearly 3 months, i finally received first word from the course coordinator. "Oh!" i thought to myself. "This is a pleasant surprise, there are very few coordinators who are enthused enough to actually email their students before the course even starts." However this initial contentment disappeared instantly when i read the message. In short, it said that we would have to read a novel for every week of the course and if we could not complete this simple task, then this is not the course for us. Also, in each class, the novel would be discussed in depth and everyone would be expected to give their input and opinion. This struck me as unacceptable in two ways.

ONE: Justin is Nearly Illiterate.

I actually used to read books all the time. Like every night, for hours before i would go to sleep. I was obsessed with reading and back when i was into it, i could never put the book down until i finished whichever chapter i was reading. However, there is one problem. The books that i have read up until now consist of "The Magic Treehouse", "Star Wars: Jedi Academy", "Deltora Quest", and "Harry Potter". Take a look at the books that I just named. The first three have a target audience of 7 - 9 year old boys who have just discovered what fantasy is, and the last is a book with a target audience of 7-9 year old boys, but seems to have magically permeated all age groups nonetheless... These books, i read for their stories. Not for the writing style, not for the in between the line meanings and themes which are addressed in the most inconspicuous ways possible, and with huge words that were probably concocted for the sole purpose of excluding amateur readers like myself. With a literature history like this, i'm sure you can understand why i'm skeptical about my ability to survive in a course like this. Somehow i get the feeling that Harry Potter won't be included on the reading list. Not to mention that i read so darn slow that even if i didn't have other courses to finish, i probably wouldn't be able to finish a novel a week anyways.

TWO: I Don't like the Spotlight... In Class.

I'll admit that i can be an attention whore sometimes. But I assure you that this is not the case in the classroom setting. I make a point of sitting alone in class so that i can pay strict attention to the lecture, and so i don't draw attention to myself by talking with friends. I absolutely hate being called on in class. Even though most of the time when i am called on, i do know the correct answer, somehow i'm incapable of providing it under pressure.

"Justin what is the first axiom of thermodynamics?"

"Uh... sir i have to pee."

"Answer the question first Justin"

*fear*

"Nevermind i don't have to pee anymore..."

The class having a population of 60 and requiring everyone to take part doesn't help my case much. Especially when i'm used to class sizes closer to 200 or 300. I'd probably forget my own opinion if i was asked of it.

So, i'm sorry course coordinator, but i'm going to have to resign from this course (assuming that i made it into Religion and Film, which is sure to be a party...) although i am very interested in the voices that Canadian authors employ in their influential and activist writing styles, i cannot bring myself to open a book that doesn't fill its pages with dragons, magical treehouses, time travel, and Hermione Granger.

Child.

I'm a child.

For those of you who've been reading my blog since the "juspoko days" (yes, i know how few you are, but thanks nonetheless) you may have noticed that this blog is, but is not the same as the juspoko blog... if that even makes sense. The first thing you may notice is that there is no odd creature atop this webpage with its arms flailing wildly in the air as it bares its tongue for the world to see and admire in all its glory like there was with this blog's predecessor. However, you may notice, though i will force you to notice anyway, that all of the blog entries which were present in that blog are present here. So really this is just the same blog with a new tagline, web address and a little more simple look. Why the change you ask?

I'm a child.

I'm not saying that it's a bad thing. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that i take pride in the levels of immaturity that i can achieve but I kind of feel like if i'm going to be putting my thoughts and opinions on the internet, it has a bit more credibility if there isn't this huge googly-eyed monster distracting your eyes every time you read something i say. Makes sense right?

I still don't step on cracks for fear of breaking my mother's back. Just sayin.