Since school's just begun, the workload hasn't picked up just yet, and this semester is fabled to be the easiest of all for mechanical engineers, i've been coasting through school so far. The majority of what's been covered has been review and any new concepts have been unimpressive at best. Such an atmosphere has paved the way for many idle nights and so i've been out to the club once or twice recently.
Now I don't club a lot, but i've gone enough times to see a couple of trends.
1. The more you go, the less you know what you're doing (true for Justin Hugh anyways).
The first time in my life that i went to a club (sometime in the middle of last year), i had a generous amount of alcohol in my system and a hefty pair of beer goggles on. I wasn't really walking straight, and my "dancing" made me resemble a kangaroo with one broken leg playing jump-rope. Any time a female happened to pass by my front side, i'd attempt to dance, i mean "dance" with her straight away. My success rate was probably about 3... percent. But i'd just keep at it all night. Nowadays, a year later, there is only ever half the amount of alcohol in me at a maximum, i actually take some time to see people's faces when they pass by, and i now dance like LEON WU which is far less attractive than a crippled roo if you ask me. I actually try to strike conversation with people now before i start "grinding up", with my most clever lines; "hey, dance with me", or "hey, dance with my friend". Me trying to be smooth ends up having a reduction effect on my success rate, bringing it down to about 0.3 percent... :( Don't think too much Justin, just be the babbling idiot that you were before and you'll be more successful... shouldn't take too much effort.
2. Gender Balance is non-existent.
There's always a lot more eels rather than caverns. And i've never really had a taste for eel... In my head, when someone says "hey, let's go to a club" i picture me dancing with a cornocopia of females. In reality, when i get to the club with that someone, i see a dozen creepers staring down a single girl who is too scared to even twitch for fear that the creeper posse will pounce on her. That kind of dynamic makes for an awkward party. I try to be more of an observer of this phenomenon rather than involved in it.
3. IDs are useless.
Last year, at the door to the club, i used an ID that could possibly have been but was not necessarily, not me. And the picture of the person who was hypothetically on this ID did not really look like me. Somehow, i never had any trouble whatsoever getting in. It was always a single glance at the card, a glance at my face, and a slight nod of approval followed by me nervously shuffling my way inside. Now that i am using my driver's license as my ID, there has never been a time when i've been admitted without playing 21 questions. The bouncer always looks at the card, then to my face, then back to the card, then back to my face, then back to the card THEN BACK TO MY FACE. Sadly, the person on the card in the bouncer's mind, is not me (even though it IS me) but he SHOULD THINK THAT he's me if he used his discretion. I look down, back up, what is it? My ID IN HIS HAND; the ticket to that place i want to get into. THE BOUNCER IS NOW SKEPTICAL. I'm between a rock and a hard place. (i really hope you read those past couple of sentences in the Old Spice commercial voice, because i most definitely did). But seriously, i get asked my address and postal code nearly every time now, when i'm using my LEGITIMATE ID. Although that could of course be a function of me looking like a vietnamese refugee gangster anarchist when i was 16. And not to mention that one time when i was asked my height, and in my stupor, i replied "7 and a half" instead of "5"7 and a half". Anyways, you get my point.
What a true engineer i am, always looking for trends. Now if only i could figure out how to express a variable success rate as a function of free variables and dependent variables i could skew my results to yield a good night for Justin. Nawt.
lul
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